With A Straight Bat

Personal Branding | Leadership

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Whenever I’m asked to speak on leadership or personal branding, this one curious question forever leaps out of the shadows straight into the spotlight—How do you decide when to be authentic (express your true feelings) and when to put on a poker face? Ah, the plot thickens!

The answer is as elusive as trying to catch a greased pig on farmland. On the one hand, we have the tender beating heart of authenticity, pulsating with honesty and transparency. On the other, the cool, calculating poker face, silent as a whispering wind.

But before we dive into figuring out the best path between conformity and authenticity, let’s take a step back and examine both worlds and try to understand the allure each one holds.

The Great Emotional Masquerade

Through my own perilous journeys and many interactions with people from all walks of life, I can attest that the pressure to conform is, indeed, a powerful sorcery that many succumb to in the pursuit of favor and success. It’s like there’s this unspoken rule that to climb the ladder and win people over, we must make a real effort to fit in and mirror the values that are so important to the companies we work for.

And honestly, we’ve all seen it happen countless times – people bending over backward to blend in, even if it means suppressing their own beliefs or interests. It’s a tough spot to be in, for sure.

But in our valiant attempts to master the art of chameleon camouflage, we often find ourselves trapped in a web of discontent. Like a jester juggling one too many balls, our precarious act of pretense takes its toll.

This tragic comedy unfolds as we, the intrepid conformists, become less engaged and less committed to the very organizations we sought to impress. Our intentions to leave grow in the cracks of a sidewalk. And here lies the crux of the paradox: In our quest to fit in, we unwittingly pave the way for our own departure. It’s as if we’ve been dancing to the tune of a mischievous sprite whose sole purpose is to lead us astray.

When Unicorns Roam the Land of Cubicles

Some of the best connections I’ve had at work have been built on that unfiltered, genuine relationship where I felt comfortable to speak my mind, challenge the status quo, and just have open conversations that led to better outcomes for everyone involved.

When we don’t have to worry about prioritizing appearances over doing good work, it’s such a relief! (And don’t even get me started on “optics”– it really does get on my nerves too!). It’s just so much better when we can focus on building those solid workplace relationships based on genuine effort, trust, and admiration. They’re definitely more valuable than any surface-level pretense or masquerade, and they’re the ones that truly last.

And the best part? When we have those genuine connections, it really does lead to higher job satisfaction, greater engagement at work, and an overall better sense of well-being.

Balancing the Scales: Building a Personal Brand

So, what do you do? Should you actually buy into the buzz about bringing your whole (authentic) self to the ol’ 9-to-5? Do you bask in the spotlight of open chats and storytelling as a way to win over your work buddies and kick group performance up a notch?

As the title – “Learning to tango with a Porcupine” – suggests finding the perfect balance between authenticity and conformity is a delicate dance. On the one hand, embracing your inner unicorn is the key to fostering creativity and inclusion. On the other hand, recognizing the value of shared norms, expectations, and a sense of belonging can be equally important. Therefore, you must carefully navigate the labyrinth of your emotions and desires, seeking the balance that lies betwixt, and between genuine expression and calculated restraint.

Here are seven magical tips to help you maintain this delicate balance:

Where It All Starts…

The grand voyage starts with a single, vital step: peering into the depths of our own beings. Self-awareness is of utmost importance, for it helps us recognize our thoughts, emotions, strengths, and frailties. By understanding your inner selves, you become equipped to navigate the labyrinth of life’s choices. Knowing when to unfurl our most cherished secrets and when to keep them snug within our treasure chests –that’s the wisdom bestowed by self-awareness!

Here are some tips I use to delve deeper into my own self-awareness.

• Reflect on your feelings and emotions: Take time to explore your emotions and understand why you feel the way you do in different situations.
• Practice mindfulness: Journaling (‘cause I can’t meditate) can help you become more in tune with your thoughts and emotions.
• Solicit feedback from others: Dare to knock upon the doors of your friends, family, or coworkers (only those that know you well) for insights into how you’re perceived by others. This may help you identify areas for growth.
• Set personal goals: Establishing goals that align with your values can keep you focused on what truly matters to you.

When you’re more in tune with yourself, it becomes much easier to genuinely connect with others in an authentic way.

Just a heads up, sometimes the urge to conform can come from feelings of low self-esteem or being a minority. It’s important to remember that even in cultures that prioritize group harmony, the pressure to fit in can be much stronger. Keep that in mind as you navigate the balance between conformity and authenticity.

Bring Your Whole Best Self to Work.

Let’s chat about bringing our whole selves to work, shall we? Now, I know some folks are all about that “bring your whole self” mantra, but I’ve got to say, maybe it’s not the best idea to invite every little part of ourselves to the office shindig.

I mean, you’re there to work, right? So, it’s important to bring along the bits of ourselves that make us super-duper productive and all-star leaders! Before you go all, ask yourself: will this tidbit help me do my job? Will it give my team a clearer picture of my thought process? Is it relevant at all to the work at hand? If not, maybe our fondness for cat memes, views on politics, or our romantic life can stay cozy at home. After all, there’s a time and place for everything! So, the best is to focus on the work stuff at work and save the rest for those precious off-duty hours.

Open Book? You Shouldn’t Be.

Let’s get candid for a moment. They say honesty is the best policy, and sometimes that means telling it like it is. So, let me give it to you straight – you need to measure your waste. Yep, I said it. But don’t worry, I’m not trying to be rude or anything. I just want you to think about what it means to be authentic.

Sure, being authentic means being true to yourself and expressing your thoughts and feelings. But it also means being thoughtful about how you present yourself to this world. You don’t have to be an open book for everyone to read (unless you are craving to mix it up and find your BFFs at work!).

Mind Your Language.

Let us take heed for sharing unfiltered musings, untamed opinions, or prickly remarks that may be hurtful to others. You shouldn’t forget the golden rule: think before you speak and weigh the impact of your words on those around us. Btw, that doesn’t mean you need to be mere pleasers of the masses. Your genuine selves might ruffle a feather or two. And that’s perfectly fine. However, should your authenticity take aim at inflicting pain or casting aspersions upon others, then you must examine your intentions. Strive for authenticity that’s infused with thoughtfulness – combining emotional intelligence with respect, listening, and understanding. Cheers to that!

What-When-How?

You don’t want to be that person who spills their guts without any thought, do you? That can backfire like a faulty rocket launch – damaging your reputation, alienating your coworkers, and even creating distrust and hindering teamwork.

So, how do you do it right? Well, it takes a deft touch. You have to be thoughtful about what to share and how to share, all in the name of making work stuff even better. No grandstanding or oversharing here. Remember, timing and context are the trusted steeds upon which your message must ride. Choose your moments wisely, for the winds of fate may not always favor your cause.

Reveal Just Enough, If at All!

Beware of the perils of over-disclosure, for baring your soul with reckless abandon may be misconstrued as awkward, desperate, or even as a sign of teetering stability. Let us not venture into such precarious territory while seeking to forge ties with our fellow colleagues!

Instead, let us seek the elusive “Goldilocks Zone” of vulnerability—revealing just the right measure of our inner selves to nurture the tender shoots of friendship while maintaining the delicate balance that keeps others at bay and at ease.

Attune Your Senses.

Let’s not forget about cultural or organizational nuances. Every workplace is a unique tapestry woven from the threads of diverse cultures and individual idiosyncrasies. What may be acceptable to share in one workplace may not be in another. So, it’s important to be aware of your surroundings, observe the intricacies of your workplace, learn the unspoken rules, and observe the leaders. It’s never too hard to spot an environment or leadership style that promotes conformity or encourages authenticity.

Net, Net!

So, go ahead and twirl on the stage of life, embracing your true feelings while also recognizing the need for a poker face when circumstance demands. In the end, it’s all about finding harmony in the cacophony of life’s many notes.

Personally,

I always celebrate the victory of the misfits who dare to defy the prototype for success in their work environments. For it is in their quirks and idiosyncrasies that the true power of innovation and change lies. Their stories inspire you to embrace your inner unicorn.

Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash